lox.Journal

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Thailand [Sunday 27th March 2011] In a week, more or less it's going to be my birthday. This is the first thought that sprang into my mind today, probably because I am away thousands of miles from where the birthday is going to take place and therefore preparations are somewhat difficult to do. Strangely I feel like I want to have some sort of dinner/drinks related encounter with as many friends as I can call, normally I do not like birthdays, especially my birthdays, but this time it's different. Do not ask me why, it just is. In the meantime I am in Bangkok, spent the second day of the weekend wandering around the city, went to the Weekend Market (Chatuchak Market) for some souvenirs and spices shopping, now I am in search of a Jinbei (cotton Kimono) for my culinary nights (the sushi nights) and another outfit for the massage classes that I am taking. I know what you are all thinking... No. No prostitutes for me, it's quite a turn down to have to go with the clients, by myself is totally out of question, no matter how much I'd need to get laid... Still Thailand is a great place, certainly after Japan is my favourite country here in Asia. I love the people, the food, the fact that there are still areas that are not "civilized" fully and you can still see how Thailand used to be... It seems more real than other places that I have visited... Ok time to get ready for the evening... Tonight I want to try some more Thai food! [2 comments] Leaving Hong Kong [Friday 25th March 2011] Early morning here in Hong Kong, about to leave it to go to Thailand. Yesterday was a rather interesting day spent with my agent Lina talking about several things. We touched the subject of business trips and pleasure trips and all of a sudden I realized that albeit I have been here in HK only four days I am going to miss it already. As a business traveller I need to feel at "home" even when I am not, as a result, and thanks to my adaptability skills, I get "used" to living in a place rather quickly. But that means that the day you leave the feeling is like if I do not want to! Good part is that the trip is "almost" over, since I have decided that I will not travel for more than two weeks time goes much faster, which is good... Oh well, need to finish packing, then it will be "Sawadee crab" for the next 4/5 days! [1 comment] Chiu Chow [Wednesday 23rd March 2011] In Hong Kong again for the first business trip of 2011, love this city it's yet another place where I could live, if I didn't want to stay in Florence that is. Today I have had a rather interesting culinary experience, Mr.Lin, one of our clients took me to a very interesting restaurant. Rather than a "restaurant" I should say "type of cuisine" as this time we went for Chiu Chow dishes and not the traditional Cantonese specialities. We had the usual various array of courses so it' quite hard to describe them all, but the fish was superb and I especially liked the sauces that accompanied every dish, apparently the last one being a feature of this regional cuisine. Of course to strengthen the rule that wants a foreigner to fall for very simple mistakes and do very embarrassing things, unlike the past ELEVEN YEARS when asked what I wanted to eat I actually did make a request. Well it turn out that that dish, that I thought was a sort of "standard" dish in China, it's not that standard for Chiu Chow and they didn't have it. Of course the waiter got all sad because the only dish that I have ordered wasn't on the menu, my client felt quite disappointed at my taste (they are friends so we joked about this issue), and eventually they did make what I wanted especially for me, thus making me feel really ashamed!! Oh well, a litte spice doesn't ruin the experience, makes it better if anything! Tomorrow night market and Aqua... [3 comments] Q1 2011 [Wednesday 16th March 2011] If I was a PLC company I would have to look at the way each quarter is closed and start drawing prospectives for the following periods. Well, Q1 (Jan-Mar) has been rather disappointing, not to say quite disastrous. Love life went pear-shaped once more, I think I have wrote far too much before so I will not venture myself in that again, but I still suffer of what happened, that is for sure. Work has been rather shite, my main client got done for tax evasion (something that I could not really foresee), and now I find myself with 1/3rd of total turnover gone and very little ideas on how to get it back on board. Still on the work side what happened in Japan comments itself, my second market is on the verge of nuclear catastrophe... But more importantly than the business side there is the fact that in Japan I have so many friends, some of them are almost like family to me. Needless to say that I am really worried, to see that 20K people have gone missing, lots of people are dead, nuclear plants close to meltdown and shortage of food... House-wise I have tried to make an offer for a decent property that I found but so far I didn't get any reply, I have worked really hard in these 2 months to see as many places as possible, but I found only one that was half decent to make an offer on... Need to start looking again, but even there I wish I can find one soon, so that I can move onto other aspects of my life that need some serious changing. Poisitives: Started a Shiatsu massage course, will take 3 years but it's something that I wanted to do, and started collaborating with a friend organising and cooking sushi and other Japanese things for some bars around the Florence area. I hope Q2 will be an improvement, really badly need it... [2 comments] How small [Friday 11th March 2011] How small are my woes compared to what happened today... Woke up rather early, lots of things to do in this Friday that I took off work. Normally by 8.30 AM I have already checked all internet newspapers, read all mails and so on, but not today. It was the new chains of slavery (read: Blackberry), that my company kindly decided to give me, that completely changed my day. I got a mail from Marta, asking me if I was in Japan... Kind of strange thing to ask, at 8.00 in the morning... Replied that I wasn't in Japan, but I asked her why she wanted to know. The reply is what you can imagine, "have you seen what happened!?" Now I was about to get out to go and see the doctor, already late, switched on the computer and saw the disaster that struck my beloved Japan... Of course my mind rushed to Kutsunugi san, my agents at the present company, my friends and host family. It was kind of strange to get for the two following hours the "busy tone" on each and every mobile phone in Japan that I have tried to call... Then finally people started to reply to my calls, and everyone seems to be fine, but I really swear that for a good couple of hours I was considering hopping on a plane and go there... In the end the cataclysm that hit Japan will eventually be solved (I hope), and now that I am back home all my woes seem so small compared to the thousands of victims that died in the tsunami and earthquake. Fortunately Japan is a very organized country, if something like that happened in Pizzaland I think that the victims would be not less than millions... Oh well, let's hope that things do not get worse, がんばれ、日本！！ [3 comments] Past tense [Sunday 6th March 2011] Past coming back... They say that things in life never happen by "chance", there is always a meaning when something out of the ordinary crosses your way. I personally do not tend to give everything a meaning, it's very time consuming to start rambling on the whys and whats of an event that you find yourself living. Having said that, after almost 20 years I managed to get in touch with a family member of Claire's family, Martin her brother. I have tried to look for them in these years, every now and then, without really putting too much effort to it. I do not know why but I wanted to know what were they doing, what life brought to them. After all Claire was rather important for me, it would be stupid to deny that. Interesting that the contact happened the very same day the relationship that I was having (and that felt quite similar to the one I had 18 years ago) ended... Then yesterday Alice Lee, my friend from the Japanese course in Reading got in touch with me, here we are 11 years ago, but still it was great to see that she's doing well and now has two kids! Wow... Past coming back to say hello to me? Life goes on in a very tired way, I long to start my Shiatsu Massage course, strangely (or maybe not so strangely) I long to go to Asia at the end of the month... The business trips takes a lot of things away, it's like mopping the floor. You clean it and then after it's finished little by little some dirt comes back, but it's less than before. When I left Chiara the huge business trip that I did to Asia was really a good way to start again, to turn page. This time I hope that I can do the same, I really need it. Why do I feel bad? Well couldn't tell you really.. I gave all the best to the relationship that recently ended, probably I feel bad because once more I realize that when you give yourself totally to the wrong person the one that suffers is the one that gives... Will I ever learn? Well frankly speaking, I do not want to learn. What is the point of loving, or trying to love someone, if you always play defensively? Maybe I have to know my partners a little bit better, maybe I have to look at signs of "discordance" with different eyes, not the one of the boyfriend in love... And yet past comes back to say hi, is there a meaning to all of it?! Probably yes... and I know the answer, I know what he came to tell me... [1 comment] Questions and the way ahead [Tuesday 1st March 2011] Yesterday I have spent a very good evening with a friend, a person that I have met not so long ago, but with whom I have a very good "gut feeling". Topic of the evening were of course the recent events, also because she happens to know the cause of all my pains and doubts. To be fair "pains" are now subsiding towards "doubts", hurting less but lasting longer in my mind... Apparently the image I give now, according to my friend, is much calmer, more in touch with what I want to do, less indecisive (as I probably was during the relationship). In a way this made me feel happier, as it means that maybe something is moving under the ashes. She told me that "it was good to see that into difficulties I managed not to betray myself"... Maybe I did not betray myself, maybe I tried to be someone that I cannot be for a long time, maybe I did a lot of things... Doubts... And what if maybe I should betray my ideals instead? I have always been quite strict, very focused on what I want. Where did it get me? Do I have what I really want? The answer is no. On the other side I keep the "dream" on, I still want to believe that I can find that someone that will add that something to my life that I cannot add just by myself. So I guess I arrived to be almost 36 years old and never strayed away from this path, the road might be terribly long still, or maybe very short, but I think that I should keep walking it... Still it's a period where nothing seems right anymore, where reconsidering a lot of aspects of my life seems to be the only thing that I can do... The bad spell is not quite over yet, and sometimes I still miss her... [1 comment]

Lox, Lorenzo... ME!! A little introduction about the author and the blog itself. Plus contacts and CVs... You never know! Pictures A Selection of the best pictures that I have taken all over the world during the years, all nicely indexed by year and geographical area. Jolly good! History of this Blog A collection of all the articles that I have wrote so far, divided by month/year. I have had the bad idea of writing my e-mail address on the board before, so this time I'll try to prevent some spam to get to me by putting this little image.. Let's hope it does the trick! [--------------------] A reminder to Myself Left and right Like day and night That's what makes the world go round In and out Thin and stout That's what makes the world go round For every up there is a down For every square there is a round For every high there is a low For every to there is a fro To and fro Stop and go That's what makes the world go round You must set your sights upon the heights Don't be a mediocrity Don't just wait and trust to fate And say, that's how it's meant to be It's up to you how far you go If you don't try you'll never know And so my lad as I've explained Nothing ventured, nothing gained You see my boy it's nature's way Upon the weak the strong ones prey The human life it's also true The strong will try to conquer you That is what you must expect Unless you use your intellect Brains and brawn, weak and strong That's what makes the world go round [------------------------------]