Questions and the way ahead

Posted on 2011/03/02 14:57:46 (March 2011).

[Tuesday 1st March 2011]

Yesterday I have spent a very good evening with a friend, a person that I have met not so long ago, but with whom I have a very good "gut feeling".

Topic of the evening were of course the recent events, also because she happens to know the cause of all my pains and doubts. To be fair "pains" are now subsiding towards "doubts", hurting less but lasting longer in my mind...

Apparently the image I give now, according to my friend, is much calmer, more in touch with what I want to do, less indecisive (as I probably was during the relationship). In a way this made me feel happier, as it means that maybe something is moving under the ashes.

She told me that "it was good to see that into difficulties I managed not to betray myself"...

Maybe I did not betray myself, maybe I tried to be someone that I cannot be for a long time, maybe I did a lot of things...

Doubts... And what if maybe I should betray my ideals instead? I have always been quite strict, very focused on what I want. Where did it get me? Do I have what I really want?

The answer is no.

On the other side I keep the "dream" on, I still want to believe that I can find that someone that will add that something to my life that I cannot add just by myself.

So I guess I arrived to be almost 36 years old and never strayed away from this path, the road might be terribly long still, or maybe very short, but I think that I should keep walking it...

Still it's a period where nothing seems right anymore, where reconsidering a lot of aspects of my life seems to be the only thing that I can do...

The bad spell is not quite over yet, and sometimes I still miss her...

Hi!
like you post: to my @iiofkifu twitter

Posted by TheappilaFluh at 2011/11/06 05:55:22.

Post a comment