Past tense

Posted on 2011/03/06 13:05:17 (March 2011).

[Sunday 6th March 2011]

Past coming back...

They say that things in life never happen by "chance", there is always a meaning when something out of the ordinary crosses your way.

I personally do not tend to give everything a meaning, it's very time consuming to start rambling on the whys and whats of an event that you find yourself living.

Having said that, after almost 20 years I managed to get in touch with a family member of Claire's family, Martin her brother.
I have tried to look for them in these years, every now and then, without really putting too much effort to it. I do not know why but I wanted to know what were they doing, what life brought to them.

After all Claire was rather important for me, it would be stupid to deny that.

Interesting that the contact happened the very same day the relationship that I was having (and that felt quite similar to the one I had 18 years ago) ended...

Then yesterday Alice Lee, my friend from the Japanese course in Reading got in touch with me, here we are 11 years ago, but still it was great to see that she's doing well and now has two kids! Wow...

Past coming back to say hello to me?

Life goes on in a very tired way, I long to start my Shiatsu Massage course, strangely (or maybe not so strangely) I long to go to Asia at the end of the month...

The business trips takes a lot of things away, it's like mopping the floor. You clean it and then after it's finished little by little some dirt comes back, but it's less than before.

When I left Chiara the huge business trip that I did to Asia was really a good way to start again, to turn page.
This time I hope that I can do the same, I really need it.
Why do I feel bad? Well couldn't tell you really.. I gave all the best to the relationship that recently ended, probably I feel bad because once more I realize that when you give yourself totally to the wrong person the one that suffers is the one that gives...
Will I ever learn? Well frankly speaking, I do not want to learn.

What is the point of loving, or trying to love someone, if you always play defensively? Maybe I have to know my partners a little bit better, maybe I have to look at signs of "discordance" with different eyes, not the one of the boyfriend in love...

And yet past comes back to say hi, is there a meaning to all of it?!

Probably yes... and I know the answer, I know what he came to tell me...

Hi! i'm Re-twit you post: to my @mrulkcis twitter

Posted by TheappilaFluh at 2011/11/10 01:33:05.

Post a comment