Fretting

Posted on 2008/07/22 17:10:31 (July 2008).

[Friday 18th July]
So today was the day before my hernia operation, and I have to be quite honest that I was really quite nervous. I knew it was a very routine operation (I believe I heard somewhere it was the most common surgical procedure performed on men) and thanks to my company's health insurance scheme I was going to a really good hospital and all that, but still, I couldn't help but be anxious. I think the thing that concerned me most was the general anesthetic - having not been under one since I was 6 months old I really had no idea what to expect.

I think it's a similar thing to my fear of flying, which derives largely from the complete lack of control. On planes you can't even see the pilot these days, and I find the thought of having to put my safety in the hands of a complete stranger, with no possible chance of me being able to intervene, quite harrowing. So in that sense going under a general anesthetic is really very similar - you're being rendered completely helpless, then cut open by people you won't even see, save for a quick chat before and (hopefully) after.

So that pretty much occupied my whole day - worrying about it. I'm quite embarrassed to admit that, but there you have it. I went into work in the daytime as usual, and in the evening me and Chie watched a DVD (My Blueberry Nights) but the operation was always at the back of my mind, and I didn't really sleep very well either.

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