Lox - Archived Entries for 2009 / 12

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Sleep?!: [Saturday 26th December 2009]

I guess that it's that typical feature that stops someone to unwind when the holidays have started.
Yes, I can't seem to be able to sleep, do not know why, but I wake up at 4 in the night for no apparent reason and cannot go back to sleep, not until 7 or 8, a time when I usually wake up.

I think is the fact that my mind has been used to a sort of race in the last four weeks, due to the return to Italy from Asia and the fact that a new boss has arrived to the company where I work.
I will not write too much about it, it's the usual waste of money from my point of view, but that is how big companies seem to be run here in Pizzaland, you just hire a more expensive manager, keeping all the others that run the company in disgrace. Then of course you need to fire one or two employees to reduce costs and hope that all will be better in time.
I have been already in a situation like this, and I know from experience that it's already time to change, if only the job market wasn't so stuck as it is now...

Either than that I cannot think of a reason for not sleeping, maybe the fact that in the last two days I have done almost nothing doesn't help me in feeling tired?

I check my work mail, it seems that also my Asian friends are having a quiet little Christmas, no new mails, nothing to check.
I try looking for someone on the internet, someone long gone and lost, but to no avail.
I even read. Yes, it's nothing to be proud of, but I stopped reading almost completely, internet, video-games and movies are keeping me entertained more than adequately, I have never been an intellectual and I probably will never be.

Oh well, let's hope is a passing thing, the next appointment is on the 30th when I fly to Berlin with Chiara and some friends to spend the New Year's Eve there (actually we are staying a little longer). It should be a fun thing for sure, it has been a long time since I spent a New Year's Eve abroad, last time was JAPAN 1997 (I think).

P.S.
Maybe it was better if I didn't stay up. Spent 2 hours looking at old letters and pictures, including the ones when I was living in Reading. I have to thank John for scanning those pics because otherwise I wouldn't have any memory of those times as I didn't own a camera back then. Still Year's End it's not the best time to do something like that, now not only I am not tired but I also feel all melancholic and shite, and I miss her. Not good.

[2 comments]
Dear Santa: [Somewhere near Christmas]

Dear Santa,

I have NOT been a good boy this year, I said a lot of blasphemies, swearwords, I pretty much broke every commandment that Christian religion has (well not all of them.), but then again I am not Christian so I do not care all that much, I have been sneaky, I have been malicious and we could continue forever so we will leave it at that.

On the other side I did a lot of good things that surely you are aware of and that I am not going to write either.

My list of wishes is quite short this year, I would love to have a little of "stability" in all aspects of my life, I'd love to be in the position to actually look at the future in longer terms rather than the "1 month mark" that I had to keep through 2009. I'd also like the standard serving of health, good luck, and good results for my job (whatever it may be) and if I am not too selfish I'd love to extend them to all my friends and family.

Of course I am sure that you'll have some surprises ready for me in 2010, but that is part of life and it would be wrong to ask you to unveil them before their time.

That's all for this Christmas!

Yours truly,

Lorenzo

[5 comments]
Christmas Time: [somewhere in December 2009]

First of all, sorry.

As Sheri pointed out in a different post, I have reduced drastically my posts to MDS, which is a crying shame, first because I love to write, secondly because I missed doing it and I guess a lot of "rage" and "anger" that I stored recently could have been channelled through my writing.

So what's happened since I last wrote about my Korean Hangover?

Quite a lot actually...

1. Sick and Tired

I managed to get N1H1 the last 3 days of my stay in Japan and had a total ordeal when flying back to Italy.
The WORST ever air trip of my life, I was completely feverish (never had fever in the last TWENTY YEARS, at home I didn't even have a thermometer!!), every half an hour having to go the the toilet to spit phlegms and other shite, couldn't sleep a single minute and had a massive headache all the trip. The flight was also quite interesting because I was in constant fear that someone would have reported my status to someone and then I would have gotten quarantined (or shot). Fortunately in Europe they do not check body temperature as they do when you travel inside Asia, otherwise I would have spent the last 40 days in FRANKFURT!

2. Fiorentina qualified for latter stages of Champions League

Although I had fever, and started a very heavy course of antibiotics, I could not miss the match against Olimpic Lyonnese two days after I arrived to Florence (I bought the ticket 1 month before). It was a good match but the fact that I sick spoiled it a little.

3. Work is bad

New big boss coming in the company, rumours of more people going to be laid off soon. The situation is getting heavy, in a typical "dog eat dog" atmosphere. The problem is that although I did a good year, all things considered, my section is the "loosing one" in terms of results, and the first meetings with the new guy is in on the "no compromises" clause, it seems.. We'll see what happens.

4. Christmas

This deserves the closing statement of this post. Christmas.
I do not like Christmas... Actually I quite hate it.
Yes, I am one of those sad lunatic individuals that cannot stand it, that cannot find any pleasure in going out and about to spend lots of money (or little money) on presents, I am one of those ones that NEVER knows what to give to other people, I am one of those who'd rather spend the afternoon at home than going in a huge commercial centre to be immersed in a throng of drones driven by the consumerist need of having to buy "something". I didn't even make a Christmas tree at home, a thing that I do not like at all, although I feel guilty because maybe Chiara would have liked to have one, but if she waits for me doing it there is no way that's going to happen.
Then there will be Christmas day with my family, the only good thing is that there will be my sis'kids, I love to play with them, they really are the spirit of Christmas for me.

How comes that life brought me down so much? It's that present conditions (mental and empirical) are driving all my focus to very down to earth issues, and there is little left for imagination, if I save the odd computer game that I play every now and then.

But still this hatred towards Christmas has deeper roots, even when I was younger, in my twenties, I never really liked this event. My life at the moment is like suspended in a limbo that I quite hate. I do not seem to move backwards or forward doesn't matter, I am stuck. Work has a "monthly prospective", meaning that I do not know if I will have a job next month. I am renting, would like to buy a house, but how can I if I do not know if I am going to be employed next month? I could buy a car, I would need it actually, but even that it's not possible, because I worry about the bills, do we really need two cars when we use only one? I'll leave it at that, no need to deepen things, but all in all if I may ask something from 2010 is some certainties, please...

That's it, Christmas is coming, as usual I feel uneasy, the only thing that I look forward is a trip to Berlin with Chiara and some friends for New Year's eve, I hope it will be fun, and above all I hope it will be tension-free!

[6 comments]

Lox, Lorenzo... ME!!: A little introduction about the author and the blog itself. Plus contacts and CVs... You never know!
Pictures: A Selection of the best pictures that I have taken all over the world during the years, all nicely indexed by year and geographical area. Jolly good!
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