Crawling

Posted on 2007/06/26 11:38:22 (June 2007).

[Tuesday 26th June]

Crawling out a sticky bed
wondering about the sleep that I have not had
after a fierce night of noise and hot.

A Kafkian metamorphosis is taking place
the bathroom is where I crawl to wash my tired face.

Hazy is the house, a picture of old times gone
the furniture, the silence, all is in place, I am alone
nobody touched a thing in the night of noise and hot.

I crawl into the lounge, I sink in the old black chair
computer's on, the haze has gone, the hand runs through my hair.

The news, the games, the tides of time, the world is spinning still
it seems that lives are going on by, a waterwheel at the mill
the night has turned to day, a day of noise and hot

it's half past nine, the checking is done, a dying supernova
nothing to do, computer's dumb, I crawl onto the sofa

Sleep doesn't come, too noisy here, to sticky hot to rest
time passes by, I crawl again, back to the old black nest
it's midday high, it's time to eat today is noisy and hot.

Meals make my day, something to do, the fridge is my retreat
I crawl to cook, my brain flares up, I let TV watch me(*).

Time to clean up, time to realize that it's over half past one
terror strikes hard, it's early still, afternoon just begun
an afternoon of sun up high, today is quite noisy and hot

let's check the mail, let's watch the news, maybe there's some for me
night in Japan, my captor sleeps, maybe I can get free.

No freedom comes, it's old routine, let's crawl onto the bed
some rest, some sleep, maybe it's a dream, I feel as if I am dead
outside the world press on ahead, living in noise and heat.

Late afternoon, the radio is on, there's football talks on air
it's like a balm, a sweet placebo, two hours go in a glare
a glare to that beautiful sun who's leaving for today
to make space to a starry night of hot and noise and grey.

Time to make dinner, time to clean up, I let TV watch me
I feel quite drained, I feel restrained, it's time for bed I feel.

I crawl again, this time to bed, knowing that sleep won't come
it's been a very boring day, done nothing but to crawl.

I look around, I make a wish, with my glittering eye (**)
it's noisy outside, it's hot in here, a fearful symmetry(***).


Notes:

Although this poem is just a crappy attempt to describe a crappy situation, I borrowed something from poets that are worthy of such a name, therefore I feel obliged to make a small comment to the points with the asterisk.
I take special pride in having been able to mix two of the writers that I admire most in the same Rhyme, that's all that probably I have accomplished by writing these lines... I hope that they don't come hunting me from their resting places, it was done in sheer admiration to their works!

-----

(*)Pasquale Siano was my Italian teacher in High School. He coined this figure of the "TV watching us, not us watching TV", a great way to tell people that TV brainwashes them. Mr.Siano was a poet and a writer, now he's dead, but I have a very vivid and good memory of him. He's the first and only poet that I have ever actually met, a great person.

(**)S.T.Coleridge - the Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner. The mariner in the early part of the Rhyme charms the wedding guest with his "glittering eye". Incidentally the Rhyme is one of my favourite poems

(***)W.Blake - The Tiger. Another one of my favourite poets, I borrowed the poetical licence "EYE - SYMMETRY" that he uses in the poem "The Tiger".

Well done - an exciting read !! (maybe that's not how it should be, but that's how it affected me!)

I think you should be using these periods of inactivity to pursue another career - writing!!

:)

Posted by Nigel at 2007/06/26 13:26:40.

Good stuff Lox! I hope you don't really feel this bad though.

Posted by Tim's Mum at 2007/06/26 23:03:04.

Nigel + TM: Thanks for the comments... Unfortunately it is this bad, I remember reading that you could not really convey any message in writing a poem or a story if you really did not live throught the experience that you were trying to write about... It'll get better... I hope! :D

Posted by Lox at 2007/06/27 08:34:06.

Yes, very kafka-esque!

When life seems dreary and pointless, I prescribe doing things you enjoy. Spend time with friends and family. Eat your favourite food.

I too have gone through a bit of a rut of "what's it all about?" recently, and haven't had anything like the run of bad luck you've had. I think it's quite natural now and again, and as hopefully you can learn from past experience, eventually the crappy periods do subside.

Posted by John at 2007/06/30 10:26:23.

John: I hope it's like that... To be honest at the time of writing this comment things are improving slowly, which means things are getting back to normal (no news = good news)....

Posted by Lox at 2007/06/30 11:13:18.

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