The path ahead

Posted on 2006/11/19 22:30:26 (November 2006).

[18/19 November 2006]

This weekend Marta came to Florence, late in the afternoon of Saturday, as we did have some important catch up to do.
As some of you probably know we didn't speak to each other for quite some time, two weeks more or less, but in the end we hooked up again and decided to talk face to face.

I really missed her during this period, not being able to speak to her was painful, and I was quite happy to meet her in person even for just a day.
Her absence was quite strong and it really made me realize that she is very very very important to me.
We went to the new house, she didn't see it yet, and then in the evening we went to one of my favorite restaurants to have a great dinner together, just the two of us.

Since we missed each other a lot I had made my mind to ask her to come to live with me in Florence so that we could start some sort of "plan" of a life together.
I still cannot think about getting married yet, mostly for two reasons:

1. I consider it a total waste of time and money, I don't believe in it.
2. There are too many things going on at the moment that having an additional burden of the organization of a marriage doesn't seem the most sensible thing to do right now.

Maybe I am too "logic" in the approach at something that should not be so (love it's about logical thinking after all), but that's the way I see things now.

There is a part of me that deeply refuses the idea of getting married and make a family, probably the part of me that still wants to be young and free, traveling the world, make a gazzillion dollars and have more women than Hugh Hefner (google it to see who he is).

Then there is another part, that is looking at the rest of the world go by, that is realizing that albeit only thirty one it might be the right time to start thinking about the "next step", the path into adulthood, as I want to have a family at some point in life! Most of my friends are either married or about to, and sometimes I envy their stability and strength.

It's a difficult fight, sometimes I am positive for either one of the thinkings, sometimes after I reach a decision a little thing puts everything in jeopardy and I must start again.
After two weeks of internal discussions though I decided that it was to time to let one of the position prevail and I asked her to move here.

Of course her moving to Florence will not mean automatic marriage, there are some things that need arrangement and a little testing in the new environment, but since the white dress seems to be soooooo incredibly important to her after she moves here we can decide a date as I expect that all the external situations (work/house) will be a bit more stable.

Let's see, it's not an easy move, and we will still be apart for some time, but I see this as a step forward, small step, but still some movement is involved....

Well it's good to read that things are moving on - in a positive way - between you and Marta. Brilliant!!

As for marriage - don't be scared. Honestly I'm still a big kid inside! I remember once at school there was this unpleasant girl who always thought herself better than the rest of us. She fancied the teacher! Well she said to me one day: "Oh grow up, Nigel!". To which I replied:"If growing up means I'll be like you, I don't think I'll bother."

In hindsight a bit cruel of me. Ladies have a different way of looking at things, to us gents! Marriage doesn't stop me wanting to make a million, or travel the world! (Or fancy Liz Hurley!)

Think of the support Marta will be for you!

And I bet Marta will look great in a white dress ;)))

Posted by Nigel at 2006/11/19 23:40:51.

Great !! It's good news before you come to Japan.
As we told you million times she is the real person for you !! See you soon in Tokyo.

Posted by Kutsu at 2006/11/20 12:24:25.

I love a happy ending! Hope all goes well for you both.

Posted by Tim's mum at 2006/11/20 14:43:52.

Wonderful news! I'm so happy for you both. Marriage, although intimidating is really fantastic. I can think of nothing more I'd want to do then spend time with my husband. Even something as ordinary as cleaning out the the garage or putting up the Christmas lights outside is fun when we get to do it together. And just so you know.... we're both big kids at heart. Trips to the toy store now and then and this weekend one of my clients (photo session) asked "Do you have kids?" (noticing all Disney movies) "Nope" :-) He said "well you've got a good start!" (I have tons of toys, kids chairs and teddy bears too for my studio). I think making these small steps in life keeps you young not make you old.

And as for the expense of a wedding. We went with a small wedding only 40 guests, at my Dad's home, I wore my step-mom's dress and Jamie a kilt. It couldn't have been a more wonderful and more importantly memorable day!

Posted by Malinda at 2006/11/20 16:00:29.

Thanks everyone, I really hope it works out, I am scared that it might fall apart badly, but that's probably too much thinking on my behalf. Let's see, only time can tell. On the other side I am happy that she is coming even if this means a lot less space for me in a place that it's already quite small.. Oh well....

Posted by Lox at 2006/11/20 21:30:00.

If Rob took the plunge, why shouldn't you. After all, he's got red hair!

Posted by Mad Mumsie at 2006/11/21 10:07:14.

MM: So very true!!! :D

Posted by Lox at 2006/11/21 14:46:15.

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