I've got proofs! Computers are living beings

Posted on 2006/04/19 14:08:28 (April 2006).

[19th April 2006]

Well, well... There have been quite a lot of complaints from people here at "La Maison" (technically TWO complaints, but you don't need to know that right now...) of me not updating the blog recently.

They are COMPLETELY right, and I am quite sorry about it.

There are several causes, the biggest one being the fact that I haven't got an internet connection anymore back home.
Secondly, we are now in a period full of festivities here in Italy, so I am actually travelling around the country quite a bit, taking lots of pictures and generally having a lot of things that I'd love to write about, but yet again the absence of internet connection leaves me cold and dead as I cannot upload the pictures taken.

I'll try to find a way to solve the problem, in the meantime I managed to gather the last fail proof evidences that computers are not only sentient, but they actually live their own life and happen to interact with us flesh-made people.

I have recently managed to get my computer home, it was something that I actually bought 1 month ago, but since I was in Japan and, most importantly, since it wasn't working, I only managed to carry it back home the week before Easter.
The first boot and install was pretty good, the computer is quite fast and I was pleased with the result. After 2 hours, installing drivers and programs, backing up data from the old computer, I realized that the sound system wasn't working properly, i.e. only one speaker was working.

The absence of internet connection is once again dreadful; I had to wait 1 day to look over the net what might it be. I decided to download the updated drivers from everything and re-install all the software.
Nope... No chance... The computer wouldn't work...

It was then that I thought that MAYBE there was something wrong inside, so I started to scan all the connections inside the PC until I found that one crappy jack wasn't correctly plugged in the motherboard.
Now everything is ok and working so I moved onto the older PC.

This is where the fun starts.

I plan to use the older PC as a media center in the lounge, replacing the old 13"TV (YES Thirteen!)... So I installed a new TV card, that apparently get some Terrestrial-digital TV too, and proceeded to what I thought it was very easy to install.
The old PC is CLEARLY JELAOUS of the new one, SHE knows that I am not going to play with her and use her anymore, plus SHE doesn't like Marta, and SHE didn't want to hear anything about "new hardware" or stuff like that...

At a certain point I think that I shouted in frustration "Ooooohh fuck you then! Don't work! I am going to dump you then!"...

Marvellously SHE decided to that it was time to comply, and gently reminded me that PCI 2.0 standards are not automatically compatible with old PCI 1.1. In a matter of second the old TV card was back into place (it took a while to fiddle with drivers and stuff like that), but now the two PCs are working and we have the TV that we (should I say "I") wanted.

I normally say that computers are my "girlfriends", I do spend quite a lot of time with them anyways, but honestly I am getting to believe that they hear and understand everything that happens and decide who is good or bad...
At work when my colleagues have a problem they usually call me. There are times where I simply LAY MY HANDS on the screen (thus doing nothing practical) and the computer will start working again...

Oh well, time to start writing a new thory about it, maybe I'll get famous!

Computers are your girlfriends, hu? Ti fanno anche il pompino?

Posted by Sheri at 2006/04/19 17:44:51.

Si dice *fare il pompino*, vero? Non ne sono piu sicuro.

Posted by Sheri at 2006/04/19 17:47:29.

Sheri: Technically they don't give blowjobs, but I am sure that someone invented a USB device by now! :) And as for the italian bit it's correct, but we tend to use "ti fa anche i pompini?", the plural version... :)

Posted by Lox at 2006/04/20 08:23:34.

No Lox, there's no need for a new theory about computers, the explanation is simple: Computers have become so various and complicated that's impossible to thoroughly test every Hw/Sw combination. Both hardware and software have bugs, sometimes these bugs are known even before the release, but if they're not showstoppers the product is released anyway. Sorry if I spoiled your romantic idea of computers :-)

Posted by Federico at 2006/04/21 18:17:17.

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