Morpheus, Cats and Furniture

Posted on 2006/01/26 03:09:02 (January 2006).

A night of thoughts and cats, are sleeping pills the solution?

[Somewhere between the 25th and 26th of January]

Can't sleep.
Morpheus is not by my side tonight, this is not a great piece of news if you follow the blog, it seems that when I am stirred by greater thoughts (not always clear by the way) I have troubles sleeping.
I can't seem to switch off my mind, I keep thinking and thinking all night until physically vexed I give in to some rest.

So what is going on?

To be honest I have had a full day, one of the busiest since the surgery, so I am a bit puzzled to what it might have been.
After the usual rehabilitation I went straight out with my mum to see some furniture, it was quite boring because I didn't really have anything to buy so I pushed a bit to get the visit to Ikea done a little quicker than probably my mother liked.

It's a strange feeling, on one side she doesn't spend a lot of time with me, usually when I come back to Florence I tend to stay with my friends, but even during these 2 months we didn't have a lot of occasions, mostly because I was always busier doing other things.
As I said it's a strange feeling, one side of me would like to please her, the other side can't be bothered, if I look into it my relationship with her has always been like that, but I can't stop thinking that I am a "bad mummy's boy" at the end of the day.
If I ever come back here for good, and get on with a new life in Florence, I have made a point into taking her out for dinner every now and then, same thing with my father, though in his case it's a lot easier because I tend to go out for lunch or dinner with him more.
At least this has been the way thing are since they split up more than 10 years ago, I lived with my mum so it feels strange to go out for dinner with a person that you see all the time...
Oh well, let's hope things change.

Furnitures seemed to be quite popular today, as I went out for dinner with Jacopo, Lorenzo and Luca. The first two are friends since when I was 6 (Jacopo even earlier), while Luca joined later during Uni years (therefore I don't know him as much as the others).
These are a group of friends that I used to spend a lot of time with in earlier years (at least while I was in Florence before leaving to England), but later we kind of lost contact, so it was good to see them again, though I went to their office to meet them last week.
The dinner was quite good, in a very nice place in Florence (where I am going to take Rob when he comes!!!), and we talked about business mostly. As a matter of fact Jacopo and Luca work together, as Jacopo is the owner of a furniture company, quite well known in Tuscany, while Lorenzo has his own company dealing with software, industrial automation programming and internet consulting.

Jacopo is the typical person that 25 years ago you would know where it will end up: on the front page of Fortune or Times. Though he'll never admit it that's how it's going to be, he's developed a very good array of "industrial politics" skills, he's president of the young entrepreneurs association in Tuscany and he's always had a lot of great ideas, unfortunately we never managed to put them in practice, probably because we were too young at the time.
Lorenzo is a self made man, I really look up to him, he managed to create a good business out of thin air, just with his work and perseverance. He deserves all the success that he's had and will have in the future.

Solid. Like an ebony table.
This is the image that I have of them, after a brief reunion, is this what I am probably lacking at the moment? Hard to say, of course everyone has his own faults and weaknesses, nobody is perfect.

I will be leaving Florence in less than a fortnight, the date is set, back to the old life, back to the old fears. I will probably force me to forget this time and get on with my existence, or, if I have learnt something from this forced pause from work, I will manage to change my life before is too late.

Yes too late. I will be 31 this April and I can't bide my time much longer in the golden cage where I feel I am living in. It's a nice cage, mind you, but it's always a cage.

I have been toying with the idea of taking an year out and tour the world (easy escape). I have been thinking that I have not got a proper direction (true), that I have wasted my time (not so true), that all I have done in the last 10 years is nice and cool but it's useless as I am unhappy about my life (mmmmm....).

Cats. The last reference is for "micia" our cat. She is been dying to sleep on my bed for 2 months and tonight I decided to grant this wish, she is a great cat, very affectionate, but quite unlucky as not only I am not sleeping, but I use to move a lot in the bed during the night and she always gets knocked over and moved around while she is in the land of feline dreams (meat? mice?).

She doesn't seem to care too much, she'll wake me up at 6 in the morning for no reason, I am sure that it's a payback for all those nights by herself and for one night of crap sleep. :)

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