Friday 21st October 2005 - Dilemma

Posted on 2005/10/21 17:55:55 (October 2005).

Yesterday I have had a very nice dinner at Erika's home, and while talking with her husband Gianni the conversation had to fall on work.

He's a free lance designer, been working all his life in textile and textile prints, made a lot of experiences, and he was so shocked that people like me and Marta, both of us have at least a degree, didn't break the chains of paid employment to start something on our own. He always seems so full of ideas, to his eyes the "jump" to a free lance work is non existant.

My mate Matteo has been working for a long time as a free lance web designer, he wouldn't change his job for all the gold in the world (and he tells me of having turned down jobs for 3500 pounds/month in the past).

All of this made me think. I have a very "safe approach" to the job world, it might have been because my family always stessed the importance of having something to do, or it might be because our sociery tends to stigmatize being unemployed.

Still I can't seem to be able to take a decision for my present situation, I go over it a lot, but no action.
The knee situation obviously doesn't help, as I'd much rather get the surgery while "gently" covered by my employee status. But in January, if everything goes as planned, I might be walking again, doing rehab but walking.

Problem is: I don't seem to have a "plan".
I am not talking about the "killer app" or the greatest idea ever, even just a tiny winy plan on what to do and where to go would be sufficient. I know that I'd love to go back to Florence, but it seems so increadibly hard to go back there in something that it's not linked to this industry.

I think that I am a bit lost. 4 years of luxury, money, foolishness and all the rest are getting at me.

I feel a bit withered, sloppy, sparkless.... I am stuck!

Person of the Day:(nothing to do with the picture!!)
Today we speak of the past, my English teacher at the high school. I remember that she always came dressed very casual, bushy black hair sprouting curls randomly, long flowy skirts and oversized long sleeved tops. Always in a hurry, you could see through her black eyes that the brain was working on a gazzillion different things, and even though she had a very difficult situation at home, she was always fighting, alive and kicking.
She was one of the greatest teachers ever, blessed with the experience of living abroad she is nothing like the average teacher in Italy.
I remember her talking about Blake, Milton and all the rest, she had such power that it wasn't possible to avoid her wirlwind of enthusiasm and strenght. Or that day she brought Iron Maiden's "Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner" to listen, so that we could see how the masterpiece of S.T. Coleridge sipped through the years till modern times...
I don't know what she's up to now, I like to think that she' still there, teaching and guiding youngsters towards their future.

This is for you Ketty:

"Tiger tiger burning bright / in the forests of the night / what immortal hand or eye / could frame thy fearful simmetry?"

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